Today is the first entry into my journal. As I sit here ready for work and wondering what I will be writing about today, I'm actually a little overwhelmed. I have gone back and forth on the assignment sheet probably 30 times in the past few days. I keep looking back so afraid that I will be missing something for this week. I will be honest, Monday when nothing was posted for the assignment, I was so nervous. We are leaving today on a 4 day camping trip. I not only have had to do the shopping and packing for camping, but also have needed to work a bit ahead on classes so I don't fall behind. This week I really have to say, I sat and cried for a few minutes on Tuesday when I found out all the work required. Looking back it really isn't that bad. It just looked so scary with all the information on the blog/journal entries that were required for the rest of the summer semester. I am really trying to do my very best. I think for me when I started my classes, I didn't even have it in mind that I could actually be alright with less than an A in any of my classes. I still don't know that this will be ok with me. When I start something I am determined to be the absolute best at it. Sometimes this is a downfall for me because I won't even try something unless I know without a shadow of a doubt that I will master it quickly. Well here we are almost at the half way mark and I'm still hanging in there. I am having fun trying to keep up with it, but my home life is suffering a bit. That's why I decided to take the camping/floating trip today and come back on Sunday. My son is out of school for the summer and I started my classes just a few days after he finished for the summer. I need some quality time with him and some really good friends. I hope doing this will hit my reset button for the rest of the summer. I will come back a little refreshed and ready to tear it up again. I am under so much right now with work and family, that sometimes school is overwhelming to me. I don't want it to be a burden. When it becomes a burden, then it becomes a failure. I think that's where in my life I have to change a few things. When things get tough we tend to run, I'm not running..... I'm not running........ I'm not running. Full speed ahead.
As far as the assignment goes this week, it has been especially tough for me. "This I believe" is rough, I believe a lot of things and writing the Credo, I probably made it more difficult than it really had to be. I think if we would have been instructed to write the credo without knowing we would have to write the essay on it afterwords, that would have made it a bit easier. I was trying to do too much thinking ahead of myself. One of my biggest issues is getting in my own way. Trying to over think what I'm doing. Over analyzing. It's definitely a learning process for me. They always say "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", WELL....... I'm proving them wrong. I'm going to learn everything I can. I want to be able to at least think I can keep up with my peers. I might be able to keep up, but I want the confidence to know that I'm keeping up with them.
Well it is just about time to leave for work. Today will be a very short day and I'm hoping to be done early. We will be leaving for our trip when I get home and finish packing the coolers. When I come back I will have lots of stories to tell of camping, kayaking, cooking, and sleeping under the stars. Hopefully no stories of waiting out the rain in the tent. It's going to be a great weekend and I hope others in my class are doing something fun with family this weekend as well.
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